Tired of winning yet? Trump most bipartisan Impeachment in history and Twitter loses it.

Tired of winning yet? Trump wins most bipartisan Impeachment in history and Twitter loses it.

side by side images of the Trump inauguration and the Capitol riot

screenshot / Twitter

If you look out the window on this glorious Wednesday morning and you squint, you can see that the United States’ disgraced president, Donald J. Trump, impeached again. For those statheads, The Donald has now been impeached 1/3 as many times (2) as he’s declared bankruptcies (6).

The Twitteratti is exhausted but jubilant.

Deja Coup

Groundhog's Day

Yes, this time next week we’ll have a new president.

But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t get rid of this American imposter before then. We saw how much damage he caused in a single tragic day. The reality is that it could have been 1000x worse with more capable insurgents. Fortunately, competent MAGA is an oxymoron. Thus, it seems foolhardy to risk the Republic for an additional seven days with this madman who has one thing on his mind: himself.

It’s a pretty open and shut case. Read a handful of the president’s incendiary tweets glorifying, encouraging, and organizing violence. Or watch five minutes of his January 6th speech and any two-minutes of the MAGA mob with zip ties ransacking elected officials’ offices and if you think he deserves to stay in office then check your driver’s license because your name might be Matt Gaetz.

The Excuses

trump whips up rioters before sending them to the US Capitol.

screenshot / YouTube / The Guardian

Five people are dead. One of them was a police officer who was KILLED WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER BY A MAGA MOB! There was no Antifa. There was no Black Lives Matter. This was 100% MAGA (which is pretty easy to figure out since they aren’t shy about advertising their allegiance to their fake orange messiah headed to prison).

But that doesn’t mean that the GOP thugs aren’t scraping the bottom of the barrel of lame excuses for their support of sedition.

The Cowards

Jim Jordan with his mouth hanging open

Flickr / Gage Skidmore

There are plenty of jobs out there. If you can’t do the bare minimum in Congress then get the hell out and open a LinkedIn account.

If you’re scared of the mean orange tweeting man then this isn’t the job for you.

If you’re scared of what your peers will think of you then this isn’t the job for you.

If you’re scared of a few of your angry constituents threatening you then you’ve chosen the wrong profession and the wrong political party.

Do the right thing. Stop lying. Anyone inside the Capitol that day had an excellent chance of going home in a body bag that afternoon. You’d think that would have been a wake-up call to be honorable.

The Whining

Trump ally votes for Pelosi's War Powers bill to 'avoid another forever war'


It’s the height of irony that the Republican party is a blizzard of whiny snowflakes. They are a mass of malignant machismo. They toss in buzz words like “freedom” and “patriot” but their words do not ring true.

So when power seems to not be at hand, they simply can’t deal and throw tantrums.

The Facts

The GOP has painted this impeachment as a witch hunt by the Democrats. That’s a bald-faced lie.

Not only has the president been impeached for the second time (a historic feat in itself), but the body that voted for this political shame was mixed with the Blues and the Reds. The votes from ten Republican congress members made it the most bipartisan presidential impeachment in American history, double Bill Clinton’s 1998 vote that saw five Democrats side with the GOP.


The Country over Party Peeps

A photograph of a woman waving an American flag while sitting in a sunny field.


When two-thirds of the House GOP voted to DISCARD AND NULLIFY the will of the people — 81 million of us —you shouldn’t expect many defectors to vote yes to impeachment. But there were a handful of Republicans who realized that their oath was to America, not the thrice-married, morally bankrupt dictator with blood on his hands.

Unlike this guy.

Lazy Mitch

Twitter humiliates 'hillbilly traitor' McConnell after devastating ad


I guess Kentucky turtle man feels that rushing the Senate back from their vacations dwarfs the future of America in the next week as a desperate Adderall-addicted unhinged madman with the nuclear codes who has nothing to lose plans his next traitorous move. Well, played McConnell!

The rabbit hole of chaos

Joe Biden

Gage Skidmore / Flickr

Unfortunately, the Republicans —as usual— have left a huge hole to dig ourselves out of. The negligent handling of the pandemic, crushing national debt thanks to ridiculous tax cuts, a crumbling economy, and four years of rampant criming. Fortunately, justice is coming. The Biden administration will just need to multi-task. But there’s always time for a Senate trial if it means locking up someone as evil as Donald J. Trump.

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